Sunday 19 April 2015

Den of Pleasure

Went to a really fun night at Club 8x6 downtown. I've been wanting to check out that space for a long time, and although it wasn't one of their regular nights, I was happy to at least know where it is now. It was run by Den of Pleasure, which is a local swinger BDSM group. They're explicitly pansexual, which I really appreciate, since I know a lot of swinger groups/venues seem to think only women should have varying gender appetites.

I got to wear my new latex buckle dress, which I feel so scorchingly sexy in (also literally hot since latex doesn't breathe and I felt the sweat pouring down the backs of my legs all night).  I'm not able to wear panties under the dress, so there's an added naughtiness to being there in micro-short skirt, knowing everything is barely covered. My sweetie looked amazing in some shiny vinyl pants and a sleeveless hoodie. The outfit plus the guyliner I love to see him in gave him such a sexy 'rent boy' vibe and I was going rather crazy over how hot he looked all night.

We met up with another couple we've played and hung out with before, had a few drinks, and danced for a few hours (through the course of which I managed to not only drop my own cup, but knock TWO other cups out of people's hands onto the dance floor!!!).

We sat on a bench in the dungeon play area when they welcomed people to come watch a scene. A lovely, plump, sub woman knelt over a spanking bench while her (incredibly rotund and wearing an Hawaiian shirt) Dom worked her over. They were beautiful to watch. Really connected. The Dom was tender but really giving her what she needed.

We got pretty hot from this and it took nothing to just spread my legs so my sweetie could simply slip his fingers into me. So hot! The sub was watching this happen in front of her and smiled up at us. Our friends were still dancing and would peek through the curtain at us every now and then, which just made it hotter, made me spread wider. The scene and our exploration progressed: my hand in his pants, him laying me back to get his mouth on me, me sucking him off until I couldn't wait anymore and climbed aboard to ride him there and then.

I was clearly lost to my own world by that point because it wasn't until we finished that I realized the scene had ended and people had moved on to other parts of the club - though we'd definitely had a few remaining watchers. We cleaned up, got some water, perved on what was happening in a few other areas, danced like cheeseballs to 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' (we were the only ones on the dance floor by this point), and headed to the change room to call it a night.

We were getting our gear together when an attractive man approached us and started chatting, having been watching us dance. We weren't up for sticking around, but gave him our card, and now we have a drinks date with him next week.

Thursday 9 April 2015

Solo Sex Date

After meeting a guy on okcupid a few weeks earlier, we scheduled a hook-up date, which then got bumped and rescheduled, and then shortened because his wife was going to be home earlier than she'd initially thought (it had seemed easier to date other non-monogamous married people in theory, but scheduling and finding private time when you haven't got your own place is pretty tricky).

In some ways it was easier, because there wasn't that awkward time of staring at each other wondering when you're going to get to the sexin'. "You're here. Shall we get naked?" Music to my anxious ears.

It was a little strange - good strange - to be alone with a guy after having only done the group sex swinging-style play so far. I love love love the hedonistic thrill of multiple bodies on the bed, but it was really satisfying and intimate to focus my attention on one person without having to think of who else I should be pleasing at any given moment.

Had a really great time together overall. We really clicked and connected. Had an amazing moment where he picked me up and tossed me onto the bed. I didn't know that would be something I'd like, but I definitely did. There was one misstep where I didn't advocate for my boundaries strongly enough, but that was a valuable lesson learned. Also, PSA to anyone out there who does penetrating: someone consenting to anal play is not consenting to anal sex. Two VERY different things. We bounced back from that unfortunate moment, though, and continued on with the fun.

We've seen each other socially and casually since then. Schedules haven't permitted another hook-up, but it seems like there's a good friendship building between the 4 of us, and perhaps some couples playtime in the future.

Monday 6 April 2015

The new Birthday Tradition

Celebrated my sweetie's birthday with what should become the new norm for birthday celebrations - a threesome. We had the lovely friend with whom we enjoyed our first ever threesome a few months ago come over to our place and we feted (and fellated) my beloved with style. I'm still walking a little funny.

I hadn't been entirely sure we were compatible during our first time out, but my husband is really into her, so I decided to give it another chance. I think it had just been nerves all round the first time because we were all much more relaxed and the three of us definitely clicked really well.

It was kind of funny and awkward because we had a house guest in from out of town and we had to kick him out for the night with the weakest excuse and lack of explanation about conflicting requests for a place to stay. If he didn't see through us, he's not as smart as I thought. Thankfully, I overheard the excuse my sweetie gave him and didn't give a completely different lie since we didn't think to get our stories straight. Our house guest was at a conference and happy enough to get a hotel room downtown for the night so he could stay out late getting rowdy so it worked out fine. We put fresh sheets on the big bed once he was gone and made sure all the supplies were close at hand.

I got to try out performing oral sex with a dental dam since she'd gotten her period suddenly and unexpectedly that afternoon. I used the tips I'd read in various books - lube on the underside for her, stretch it out, go to town! - and it worked really well. I also got fuck her with a strap-on, which has been a fantasy since I bought my (never-used) harness over a dozen years ago (my sweetie and I are working up to the other thing I'm really hoping to use my strap-on for).

It was so crazy-hot. I felt really fucking hot and powerful with my harness and dick, and she was really into it. Looking down into her eyes while I thrust into her was pretty wild, and it's making me feel pretty tingly to recall. She seemed to think that I was pretty good at it and, despite the incredibly sore, tiny, also never-used-like-this thrusting muscles in my groin, I'd love to try it again.  I was really hoping that my husband would be able to fuck me at the same time but we couldn't make angles work.  Still, all kinds of success.

I really liked watching them fuck as well. I really didn't know when we started this crazy thing if I was going to be as cool with seeing my husband with another woman as I thought I'd be, and it turns out I am. It's really hot. I ended up fucking myself with a toy as I watched them together and it may have been as hot as anything else we did that night.

She and I worked him over pretty well as well. One of his fantasies was two women blowing him at once and we made that happen quite a lot. He was on a different plane by the time we finally made him come and I felt really great about the whole evening.

We finished off sipping wine and eating two-bite brownies, discussing bed sizes and coming to the decision that California Kings are for exceptionally tall people, or people in 24-7 power exchanges who let their slave Rufus sleep across the foot of the bed, but only if he's good (otherwise he has to sleep on his mat on the floor), before I slipped off to our bed, leaving the two of them to cuddle for a while before he joined me to sleep.

I can't wait to find out who we're going to get to join us for MY birthday...

Thursday 2 April 2015

Rejection Suxxor

Went on a date on Tuesday with a woman from okcupid, and although we had a nice time chatting, I could tell by the end of the date as we said goodbye that she really wasn't feeling it. We hugged and as she was unlocking her bike, I mentioned that we could get together again and she said, "Yeah," in this really strained, high-pitched voice and I realized that she was saying all kind of no.

I attempted to shrug it off as I walked away, though I was pretty embarrassed and got a little teary-eyed under my sunglasses. I mean, there were a lot of things that likely wouldn't have made us compatible, but it still sucks to be judged as wanting by a potential partner. She was really pretty and I had a good time chatting with her, but I often talk too much when I'm nervous, and I'm guessing that was off-putting.

I've never actually dated a woman, and don't have any idea of how to do it, either, so it's probably all for the best, but rejection sucks, even if (and possibly more so when) you're not sure you wanted the person who's rejecting you.

After a couple days, just to make sure it wasn't my anxiety telling me lies, I wrote her a text to check in. I told her that I'd enjoyed meeting her, but got the sense at the end of our date that she wasn't feeling it. I wished her the all the best, if that were the case. She answered nicely, but admitted she hadn't felt any chemistry. She ended the text with 'Good Luck.'

Now, I'm sure she meant that in the nicest possible way, but my brain quickly converted those harmless, possibly kind words to read: 'Good luck finding anyone who'd want you.'

It rattled me more than I expected and I had to stop myself from tearing up again at work. Admittedly, tears are my first reaction to any intense emotion, but it seemed so silly to be crying over someone I wasn't sure I was into.

Blargh.

Hopefully that thicker skin is coming in the mail any day from Amazon.